My medication history

I have a long and arduous history with medications. Sometimes, it takes quite some time to strike the right balance with meds and bipolar disorder. This is my own personal review of each medication I’ve been on. There’s a lot! My reviews won’t necessarily be applicable to other people because each person’s response to a medication is different, but hopefully this provides some sense of just how many trials it can take to find something that works.

Stimulants

Adderall — amphetamine salts, a classic stimulant drug. Adderall XR is an extended-release preparation. For some reason the XR didn’t work well for me. I still take the IR daily.

Ritalin — methylphenidate, a different stimulant drug. It has important differences from Adderall and may work better in some people. Slightly different forms of Ritalin go by other names, such as Focalin.

Vyvanse — basically a different kind of Adderall XR,; it is the same molecule as Adderall with an extra group attached that renders it inert, which is then cleaved in the liver over time to release Adderall. To me it feels less effective than Adderall, doses held equivalent.

Mood Stabilizers / Anticonvulsants

Lithium — I’ve taken doses ranging from low to high (currently I take a high dose). Lithium dose is measured by the concentration of it in your blood; the highest dose varies depending on individual differences. You do get frequent blood tests while the ideal dose is being determined, and less after that. It is incredibly effective for many people. Because I’m on a high dose, it sometimes makes me nauseous or makes me throw up, and my hands tremor quite a bit. The cognitive side effects are the worst, but they get better over time. 

Lamictal — lamotrigine. For some people with bipolar disorder, lamotrigine is a better drug than lithium. It is not strongly anti-manic (unlike lithium), but for some this may not be a problem; however, it may be superior at treating bipolar depression. Rarely, it can cause a horrifying skin reaction when you first start taking it (and for that reason, titration takes forever — for me, I believe it took 5 weeks to reach 200mg). Past that initial window, it is considered to have very few side effects.

Depakote — valproic acid. It’s more anti-manic than lamotrigine. It smells terrible, yet apparently it comes in a form designed to put in a patient’s food which psychiatrists call “Depakote sprinkles”.

Gabapentin — I took it for anxiety, and it did put me in a good mood, so I suppose it worked.

Antipsychotics

Seroquel — quetiapine. People pronounce it in wildly different ways, I say “kweh-tie-ah-peen”. It helped with my mixed episode, but eventually it lost effectiveness and I found myself staying awake all night on 800mg (that’s a lot of Seroquel). Basically, it’s good for putting you the fuck to sleep, or at least it should be.

Zyprexa — olanzapine. It made me gain a lot of weight. It was fairly effective, but I had to discontinue it due to problems with my liver and its effect on my metabolism. It’s also pretty good at putting you to sleep. I preferred the sublingual form during my inpatient stays (it’s vaguely citrus flavored) because it made me feel better really quickly when I was agitated.

Abilify — aripiprazole. This drug actually helped me for a long time, and it still seems to have some effectiveness but I developed a facial dyskinesia while taking it. That’s an involuntary muscle movement, in my case of my lower left face. This was thought to be uncommon at first, but it turns out with long-term Abilify use (4 years for me), it’s quite possible. I can’t take any drugs related to Abilify anymore — these include Vraylar (cariprazine) and Rexulti (brexpiprazole). Abilify is not usually good at putting you to sleep, but when I started taking it I was on a dose that was too high for me at the time and I was very somnolent most of the time. 

Geodon — ziprasidone. I felt well but it made me throw up a lot. I discontinued it and got some Zofran from the ER. You have to take it multiple times per day, so you hope it doesn’t put you to sleep. I usually did have to take a mid-day nap.

Latuda — lurasidone. You have to be sure to take it with food. It wasn’t very effective for me. 

Saphris — asenapine. Warning, it only comes in a sublingual form and it’s cherry flavored. Nope. I only took it once and I had nightmares about cherry flavor afterwards.

Clozapine — I didn’t actually take this one, but it was on the table. I chose Haldol instead. It is probably considered the most powerful antipsychotic because it has been shown to break through where other antipsychotics have failed, and it was the first “second-generation” or “atypical” antipsychotic. However, it is quite possibly the single most dangerous drug in psychiatry — the potential side effects include a catastrophic loss of white blood cells, among other serious effects. It’s a “drug of last resort”.

Haldol — haloperidol. Haldol is an older drug, one of the “first generation” or “typical” antipsychotics and it is the most potent among those, also with the highest likelihood to cause dyskinesias (including tardive dyskinesia, which is permanent). These side effects have led to the popularity of the “atypical” drugs listed above, which are less likely to cause dyskinesia. Haldol is very effective for me, and I don’t find it sedating at all (which is a blessing and a curse). Having taken most of the atypicals available in the US (except for clozapine, paliperidone, risperidone, and a couple others that are much more rare), I was surprised at how not sedating it is.

Thorazine — I haven’t taken this one either, but it’s been on the table because of its more favorable side effect profile. It is the original antipsychotic drug, from which tricyclic antidepressants were also derived. It has more action on the histamine receptors than Haldol, making it much more sedating. However, this also makes it less prone to cause troubling dyskinesias — for example, antihistamines are actually a treatment for dyskinesia.

Antidepressants

Prozac — fluoxetine. It’s pretty much the basic SSRI. It didn’t do much for my mood at the time. It’s often used in combination with olanzapine/Zyprexa.

Lexapro — escitalopram. It’s an SSRI, and it has high selectivity to affect serotonin reuptake and not norepinephrine reuptake, in contrast to Prozac (which is not very selective). I took it for anxiety and OCD symptoms; I wasn’t convinced it was effective. It also changed my sexual functioning for the worse. 

Wellbutrin — bupropion. It’s an atypical antidepressant that affects norepinephrine and dopamine uptake. I took it to help with smoking cessation. It did make cigarettes taste bad, but I continued smoking them and within short order the drug made me manic.

Trazodone — an atypical antidepressant and an oldie but goodie. This one puts me to sleep (most of the time), and thank God for that.

Remeron — mirtazapine. Another atypical antidepressant. Usually a sleep drug, sometimes used for straight depression, also a great anti-emetic (anti-nausea drug).

Benzodiazepines

Xanax — the only time I took Xanax was recreationally, but I didn’t feel very enamored with the experience. Xanax is highly addictive, I suppose some people find it euphoric in a way. 

Ativan — it’s like toned-down Xanax, it is quite effective but it’s not as euphoric. It has helped me in ways other drugs couldn’t, although whether I would recommend them would be situational due to the addictive potential.

Valium — I’ve only gotten it in the ER, but it lasts longer than Ativan.

Others

Propranolol — a beta blocker, it helps me with akathisia (a side effect of antipsychotics).

Cogentin — benztropine. An antichonlinergic drug used to treat the side effects of antipsychotics. I didn’t take it for very long.

7 thoughts on “My medication history

    • Great question, thank you! I’d be interested to try it as a way of getting out of an episode, but I’m not sure about it as a maintenance treatment because it drains the brain’s reserve of serotonin. LSD would be higher on my list. It all depends on what research finds out, though.

      Like

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